Monday

While I was on the train this morning, I couldn't help but to think about those bible readers I seem to always find sitting across from me. They're always reading a tiny bible and making facial expressions like they just read it for the first time.
Do they just re-read the same book over and over just because they like it so much? Are they trying to memorize it?
Then, 70% of the people on the train are on their phones almost the whole time. I usually see them typing which I don't understand since the majority of the train ride is underground with no service. So what are they even typing?
People always look at me like they have something to say but always end up backing out. I'm not saying that in way that sounds like I think everyone wants to fight me, but maybe they want to confess something, or just vent to a stranger.
I'd listen.
I can't speak for others but I'm sure if they were to approach any other stranger with their problems, they wouldn't really bother to listen. So the best stranger to talk to on the train would be me, or Adrian because he's great with strangers.
I'm better with complete strangers oppose to people who already have a preconceived idea of who I am due to mutual relationships with people that actually do know me.
But then again, you don't ever fully know someone, right?
I always wonder about the person who sits across from me. In my head I'm like, "what's your story?".
It really is all just a story once it's in the past.
So why even think about it?
To have a good cry and/or laugh?
Is it like reading your favorite book over and over again like the bible readers do?
Do you hope the ending will turn out different the more you read it?
Well, will it?

A boy maybe 14 or so, came on the train and stood by the pole like anyone would if they couldn't find a seat; and he dressed as if he wasn't from here, but I felt like I knew him.
Was it a familiar fashion that I've seen before,
or was it just him?

The night I decided to watch another ceiling breaker movie (a movie that makes me feel like I can touch the sky), ended up sending me to a random playlist which led me to it's first song which was, "You Remind Me of Home".

At 11:11 pm, words spoken by Ben Gibbard told me:
"In a suburban town with nothing to do,
Patiently waiting for something to happen
But the foundation is crumbling
Becoming one with the ground
While you lay there in slumber
You're wasting your life"
as I was literally sitting on my "thrift store couch" (as quoted from the song), waiting for some random miraculous thing to happen to me and change my life around.
But my foundation was crumbling and it was time for me to stop sitting around.
So why was I sitting around just waiting?
Well, it's pretty cold now here in New York and pretty late too...
but that's no excuse.
I won't wait anymore.

I heard some kid in my class say today, "that's the key to success!" after learning that someone handed in their essay before Christmas break.
There are plenty of keys to success and they're all laid out right in front of you.
I just depends on if you decide to use them.

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